To most, my decision to leave my career probably seemed wildly irresponsible and impulsive. Not only did I leave a relatively comfortable, salaried job in an abrupt manner without a solid back up plan in place (as if that is not judgement-worthy enough already- and with children to support!) but I left an industry which already poises itself on passion and integrity. You see, teaching isn't just a job or a career. It's a calling.
To teach for any other reason brings an icy shame among teachers. It is etched into the mind of almost every teacher I've known that to be a "good" teacher, you must commit your entire life, selflessly, to your profession. And, to be honest, that was pretty much my experience. Not only did I feel I'd never become a master teacher, my home and family life were suffering. Teaching requires so much dedication that many of us simply allow our regular, every day duties to fall by the wayside. Teaching was a hamster wheel you could never get off. And to think of just leaving? You don't just leave. But I did. Lots of us do.
I don't regret my years as a teacher. Not a single moment. I also don't regret walking away.
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| They'll always be my kids and I miss them already. |
I learned a lot from teaching- about myself, human nature, my country, and the way of the world. I gained confidence, strength and patience I never knew I had and worked harder than I ever thought I could. Teaching wasn't a mistake- it was an experience. An incredible one I'm thankful I had the chance to have.
I have dreamt of being an author since I was a little girl. It was the first thing- among many- I ever wanted to be. Standing in front of my students on a daily basis and telling them to follow their dreams- I felt like a hypocrite. I'd never had the courage to follow my own. And, here I was, losing passion for the career I had loved. It was time for a change.
It has been four months since then and life has improved drastically. I feel more like myself and have picked up and finished many of my old projects. Things are getting to order and that "plan" is coming along. My future is still uncertain but it is a lot more hopeful than before. A future which still has many high school graduations to attend. Ones where I'll have to guess my students attended and hustle for tickets to, hoping they remember me. Ones where I'll be handing out business cards.
I have dreamt of being an author since I was a little girl. It was the first thing- among many- I ever wanted to be. Standing in front of my students on a daily basis and telling them to follow their dreams- I felt like a hypocrite. I'd never had the courage to follow my own. And, here I was, losing passion for the career I had loved. It was time for a change.
It has been four months since then and life has improved drastically. I feel more like myself and have picked up and finished many of my old projects. Things are getting to order and that "plan" is coming along. My future is still uncertain but it is a lot more hopeful than before. A future which still has many high school graduations to attend. Ones where I'll have to guess my students attended and hustle for tickets to, hoping they remember me. Ones where I'll be handing out business cards.
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